I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hit the reset button.
On writing.
On running or building out a full workout routine.
On meditation.
Or on any form of daily routine in general.
It’s all gone to shit, everything I’ve tried, even methods of starting small and building gradually. I always seem to start strong then waver off after a short period. I’ve had a few successes, most notably with certain elements mentioned in books like Hal Elrod’s The Miracle Morning (for general routine building) or Jerry Cleaver’s Immediate Fiction (for writing). And for the record, those are two fantastic books, and I’ll get into great inspiring reads in another post soon, but for time-saving purposes, let’s get to the point . . .
Most All of this faltering on my part has been due to a poor or soiled mindset.
For much of my life, I’ve had a shadow of anxiety, self doubt, and negative mindset follow me around. I’ve let fear dictate many decisions, such as not moving forward with my own creative drive or answering the call of that little deep-down hum that we all have vibrating inside at our core, embedded in the soul-subconscious (and yes, I believe all of us have this). I’ve always felt that by focusing on worries and anxieties, you actually prepare your mind for the inevitable worst-case scenario.
This is absolutely false. Because, as I’ve learned, focusing on problems and fears and anxieties usually leads to more frustration and a loop of more anxieties that pop up. It’s a never-ending cycle, and, I believe, that what you focus your conscious (and subsequently your subconscious) mind on, you will bring to reality. It’s all in belief, it’s all in your inner truth.
And so because of that habitual thought-pattern of “oh hey just start tomorrow, you’ll have everything together then,” or “hey, why bother, no one cares anyway,” or “hey, that blog post you’re planning to write about mindsets and routines is an utter dog shit idea and no one will read it and if they do they’ll roll their eyes because it’ll suck,” I’ve basically leaned out, hit the snooze on my own pursuits, and rolled back under the covers.
Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not complaining about my life. I could not be more grateful for it, and those in it. Without my family and close circle of friends, I’d be lost, no question. I’m fortunate to have such a support system.
But ultimately, this comes down to action. Finally taking that step into the unknown and moving forward . . . and not stepping back to the finish line because you find the path isn’t exactly how you expected it to be. This has to do with how I think about myself, and whether or not I have the ability to actually listen to that deep-down hum, understand what it’s telling me, and get moving and understand that it is by doing this that I’m going to find inner peace and control those bastard inner-storms that scream bullshit in my ears.
Forging the Path
Okay, so where am I going with all this?
Well, I’m basically kick-starting my own newly-devised routine on a bit of a 30-day challenge. This entails 30 days straight of waking up early (and I mean before or 5 a.m. every day), running, writing (fiction, blogging, newsletters, social media, etc.), meditating (more on the specifics of this part later), and reading. Every routine I’ve worked on has always boiled down to those four things: Writing, Running, Meditating, and Reading. A veritable four-pointed compass of the soul.
And yes, I have the plans built out for the actual structure of what this looks like, and I’ll detail this more as I chronicle the effort on social. I also have plans in place for an ebook on this effort once I’ve finished. I’m essentially poised to kick my own ass into high-gear.
Oh, and I should clarify: this is not a 30-day-and-done deal. I don’t plan on reverting back to no-routine once I’m done. This first phase is simply to embed the routine in my DNA. Get it sewn in there tight, inked along the strands and built so deeply within that by the 31st day it’s automatic. That’s my hope and my plan, anyway.
Given I’ve fallen back on this so many times before I’m willing to admit there’s no 100-percent guarantee I’ll finish, but I do 100-percent believe I can, and will, for the betterment of myself and to hopefully light some kind of way for others who have been lost on their paths like I’ve been.
And yes, I’m scared as shit to do this, knowing that once I begin there is no turning back. This is a skin-shedding moment, and I’m even more afraid to report on it, which I will be on Twitter and Instagram, as well as through updates here (I have other things I’ll be writing about, of course; stay tuned).
So HEY, if you want to see how this goes, follow along on Instagram and Twitter. I’m @MattBPerk on both.
And please, PLEASE, if you have any notes on ways to keep my feet moving (literally and figuratively) on all of this, weigh in below or ping me on social or email.
Now, let us begin . . .
