Uncategorized

See this photo above? That’s me in the fall of 1985.

I was 2.

Now? Now it’s the fall of 2017. And I’m 34. Just crossed that 3-4 line this week (not today, though, on this oh-so-very-fun Friday the 13th in October). And I have to say, just the mere thought of this age puts things into perspective, through quite a clear lens.

I remember the shed in this picture well. Seated and tucked neatly into the backwoods of my suburban youth home, I remember its rusted hinges and weathered doors, its interior spider webs and aromatic must, its imaginary creatures I feared lurked within (namely those bastard spiders). It was the very essence of Autumn New England, the very essence of cool and dry October dusk.

That shed is long gone. And, quite honestly, so is that version of me. The core of him, that thing that makes each of us, well, us, yes that’s still there. The soul never goes away, it remains, but it changes, of course, and in human form becomes weathered, like the shed itself. Though, unlike that shed, I don’t believe my hinges are rusted and I sure as hell don’t feel filled with webs and alien spiders.

My point in all this is that in the 32 years since this photo was taken, I’ve been fortunate enough to experience one hell of a roller coaster ride. Plenty of ups and downs, lots of experience with grief and death, but also, thankfully, with love and birth. Time is a strange myriad thing. I have three kids now, two of whom are older than I am in this photo, which gives me pause and puts the lens into even greater focus.

[Read more…] about When the Lens Becomes Clear

Photo via Pexels / Pixabay

There’s something about October that I find humbling, and nourishing to the mind, which, after a hot and dry summer, can feel parched, slowed, stagnant.

October, and Autumn in general, welcomes with it glints of dusk-light, a sunset hue, cooler temps, and . . . yes, memorable-as-hell stories.

Books, short stories, poems — there’s plenty of this to go around during the Fall. It’s a great season to read. Well, okay scratch that — every season is a perfect time to read. But there are some incredible books and stories that capture the essence of Fall and, for writers, can spike the inspiration a little higher on the muse-o-meter (that’s a thing, right? Yes, that’s a thing.)

Okay enough rambling, here are five of what I consider to be incredible things to read this October, and/or this Autumn in general.

[Read more…] about Five Things You Need to Read this October

Fall.

Autumn.

The season of change.

And it has arrived. IT’S HERE!

I get oddly excited about this time of year. I was born in October, and have always had an unspoken connection to this season, which for me has always marked a time of anticipatory joy and transition, leading up to the dim-lit joyous holidays and birth of a new year (and snow . . . I like snow).

As a quick side, I should note that some of the best stories I’ve read in my life perfectly capture the essence of Autumn: namely Washington Irving’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle, and, certainly more notably, Ray Bradbury’s The October Country. Bradbury spoke my language when it came to October and the Autumn season, let alone being among my favorite authors of all time. The poetry in his prose has a universal element to it. It’s simple, mosaic, hard-hitting.

But I’m getting ahead of myself and certainly off track here. Let’s get back to September, the fall equinox, and the essence of change.

[Read more…] about The Equinox of Change

Over the past few months I’ve referenced something I call “the deep-down hum” quite a bit. I’ve explained in passing what it is I’m talking about here, so I thought the time was right to actually dig a bit deeper and clarify what this all means.

There are times in one’s life when doubt is completely absent. When fear is not even a cloud of a thought, let alone at the forefront of one’s mind. When the inner-river of the soul is moving fluidly, smoothly, naturally. It’s not a sense of contentment. It’s a sense of living. These are times when you’re so incredibly sure about something that you can’t understand or explain such a level of certainty.

What’s actually happening here is you are responding to the call of your soul. That inner guide that many refer to as gut-instinct, revealing in its own way your true purpose in this life.

Photo via dima_goroziya.

I call this “the deep-down hum” because for me, I’ve always experienced this call as quite literally a faint but deep-thrumming song far down within myself. When I pay attention to that call, I hear it as a low humming that begins to elevate from octave to octave as I respond to it. Conversely, as I avoid this call, it begins to quiet again and drifts to a whisper.

But it never leaves; it’s always there.

[Read more…] about What is The Deep-Down Hum?

Photo via Pexels.

I hate hesitating. I really hate it. Especially when it comes to doing something I know deep down I really want to do (so much so that it borders on need).

It is the result of an uncertain mind. It is caused by the shadow of fear. Of doubt.

And I do it all the damn time. I have for most of my life. This is the result of trying to keep myself in balance, hesitating out of fear of diving too deep into that thing, be it writing a novel or running long distances (two things on which I’m working but have only just scratched the surface). Because it’s “safer” to be balanced, right?

[Read more…] about Reducing the Noise of Hesitation

A few weeks back, I saw an interesting prompt on Facebook by writer and story coach Jennifer Blanchard:

I didn’t respond directly to this prompt but it gave me pause and put me into a steady stream of thought. What would I say in this situation? Then it dawned on me. There is something I could say, and it’s something I’m steadily trying to convince myself of daily. So here it is, my little response and a message to all those who doubt themselves and feel, or have felt, that they can’t accomplish what they want to accomplish (this includes me, and in fact this is the message I am trying to tell myself while at the same time realizing how true it is)….

You. I want you to listen to me very carefully. There is a truth about life you may or may not be aware of. I’ve seen it, felt it, embraced it, have run from it, avoided it. And it is this: every single one of us has an unlimited supply of potential that sprouts from within. All those floating-fleeting thoughts of doubt that tell you otherwise are part of a conditioned mindset that you can adjust.

This is easier than any of us realizes. So many barriers on our path are self-devised. We decide the level of difficulty with which we approach what matters to us most. We are the ones who say we can’t, and we are the ones who say we can. If we feel a pull within us toward something that seems greater than ourselves, if we notice that deep-down hum, calling to us to act on something and we can’t explain why, we can and must strive for it. Again, this is scary for a mind that’s been conditioned to play it safe, which is the case for many of us, I believe. It’s certain the case for me. Playing it safe never ensured safety. This does not mean act reckless. It means we do not need to hide from the fear we tell ourselves is real and dangerous. Hiding under the covers — figuratively and literally speaking — creates the illusion of safety.

And as you reach for that thing, understand that any change will not be overnight. Life is an evolving process, moving in gradual waves, and any results come as a response to consistent, ceaseless effort. I didn’t become who I am now overnight, and there’s much of my life I’m incredibly grateful for. But when it comes to things I am trying to achieve within myself — that is, being the writer of books and stories, the call to become a regular runner and spiritual explorer and meditator — the reason these things are not realities to date is because I have not allowed myself to strive for them. And no one should expect to transform overnight. Remember: you don’t become the butterfly. You are the goddamn butterfly. All you need to do to grow wings is realize that there’s nothing to fear of that tree branch or leaf. So climb up, spindle your cocoon, and dig in.

Pay not attention to how long it takes. The water boils faster when you’re out of the room than if you stare at the pot waiting for the bubbles. REMEMBER THIS.

There is no real finish line, only check-points along the path. I’m working on moving from an anxiety-riddled concerned safe-playing human to a writer, runner, and soul explorer. Resistance will be there the whole way, but don’t run from it, face it. Tell Resistance it can’t drive, but it doesn’t have to get out of the car. It can sit in the back seat and report what it sees along the road. Whether you listen to it is up to you.

Just know that each and everyone of us has the ability to do and become what our soul, our deep-down hum, calls us to do. Remember this.