I recently realized that exhaustion is my drug of choice.
Well, not drug, that’s probably the wrong way to put it. But it’s certainly a goal.
And why? What do I mean by exhaustion? Why do I strive to be exhausted?
Before I answer, let me clear something up at the outset: I do not mean burnout. I cannot emphasize this enough. Burnout is nothing I endorse or condone, it’s the result of exerting oneself beyond one’s capacity, usually for something that doesn’t speak deeply to that person’s soul or life. I experienced burnout several years ago as part of work that, while starting as incredibly fulfilling, ultimately led down a road of meeting quotas and simply following a formula with no end in sight. There was no rest with this type of burnout, no start and no end, simply a looping cycle of work. And the result? Anxiety, irritability, heightened stress, poor diet, lack of sleep, poor mindset, panic, etc.
I also don’t mean exhaustion to the effect of “burning the candle at both ends.” This too, inevitably, leads to burnout. Rest is absolutely essential to the body and mind and should always come following the exhaustion I’m about to discuss. (I’m also, in a sense, talking about exhaustion metaphorically here, so bear with me.)