Matt B. Perkins

Mindset

Empty the Inner Well

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I recently realized that exhaustion is my drug of choice.

Well, not drug, that’s probably the wrong way to put it. But it’s certainly a goal.

And why? What do I mean by exhaustion? Why do I strive to be exhausted?

Before I answer, let me clear something up at the outset: I do not mean burnout. I cannot emphasize this enough. Burnout is nothing I endorse or condone, it’s the result of exerting oneself beyond one’s capacity, usually for something that doesn’t speak deeply to that person’s soul or life. I experienced burnout several years ago as part of work that, while starting as incredibly fulfilling, ultimately led down a road of meeting quotas and simply following a formula with no end in sight. There was no rest with this type of burnout, no start and no end, simply a looping cycle of work. And the result? Anxiety, irritability, heightened stress, poor diet, lack of sleep, poor mindset, panic, etc.

I also don’t mean exhaustion to the effect of “burning the candle at both ends.” This too, inevitably, leads to burnout. Rest is absolutely essential to the body and mind and should always come following the exhaustion I’m about to discuss. (I’m also, in a sense, talking about exhaustion metaphorically here, so bear with me.)

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Fueling the Fire of Writing

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There is a story in the initial pages of Pema Chödrön’s book Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears that relays the tale of a man who tells his grandson that he has two wolves fighting in his heart. One wolf is filled with anger, the other filled with kindness. When the grandson asks which one will win the fight, the man says the one he chooses to feed. (I’m paraphrasing this story, of course — you can read an excerpt from the book here, which provides more context.)

I love this story. It’s the perfect metaphor for describing that what we give our energy to, thrives.

Another way to think about this is fueling the right fire. We all have multiple fires burning within us. Fires of passion, of rage, dwindling flames of grief, sparks of humor.

Indeed, the types of fires within us are endless. Great blazes, smoldering embers, spark-lights, and flickers — a wide variety, large and small. And we can always choose which ones we want to keep burning.

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8 People I Follow for Creative Inspiration

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In recent weeks I’ve written a lot about habits, mindsets, forging the creative path, books that have helped me better understand myself, etc., and in that time I’ve noted a few creative individuals along the way that I’ve found to be influential.

Granted, there are countless individuals I could point to from throughout my life (authors, musicians, artists, athletes, etc.) who have inspired me. Today, though, I want to take a deeper dive into those I look to most frequently these days for my own inspiration. These are the individuals I follow on social media, and whose blogs or platforms I read, follow, and subscribe to on a regular basis. They continue to give me that nudge I need to keep moving forward with this blog and my own creative efforts.

There are a lot of things I have planned on the way, and a lot of these awesome folks have provided me the inspiration to dig deep and get moving. Hopefully they can provide value and inspiration for you, too.

Enjoy.

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A Note to the Lost and Confused Writer

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There are writers out there who are lost. Who are uncertain, afraid, filled with doubt, unsure of what step to take, where to go, what to write.

But there is something within, some inevitable force — what I like to call the “deep-down hum” — driving them, flicking their ears from behind, begging for attention, screaming in silence for them to create.

They are the ones who have been struggling for years, not to just find their voice, but to find the courage to actually step forth and speak with words on the page. The ones who have stifled their own creative efforts for fear of failure or fear of ridicule or fear of success or anything between.

I know this, because I am one of them.

But I know something else: when lost on the dim or fog-filled path, the best source of light isn’t a match. It comes from somewhere else entirely.

Photo via Canva

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No More Resets: Final Thoughts

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About a month ago, around the same time I revamped this little effort of a website and blog, I announced my plan to spend 30 days building a new routine and mindset and doing so without resetting back to a “day one” mentality on a regular basis. I then laid out what I learned just two weeks into the effort. The reason for all of this was because I previously found myself habitually procrastinating, trying a new routine frequently but always starting back over, and I was quite honestly tired of getting no where from this unproductive loop of crap. Hence the term, no more resets.

The plan was to spend 30 days consistently working on myself creatively, physically, and mentally to change my approach on what I want to do most in life, which is to write — and I mean write a lot — connect with readers, and share my experience on what I find working, as well as insights here on the blog and through other written works and creative efforts.

I went into this with an open mind knowing that things may be different at the end of 30 days than I’d expected them to be. And good lord, was I right.

So, here’s what I learned after working on a new routine and mindset over the past month.

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The Pebble: A Poem

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A few months back I participated in a writer’s workshop called Creative UnBootcamp: A Course for writers . . . and those who want to be. The course was hosted by Jacob Nordby, author of the incredible Blessed Are the Weird: A Manifesto for Creatives, and it was one of the best courses on creativity I’ve taken (this is an organic tip of the hat from me, I’ve not been asked to endorse the program, I really, genuinely loved the course). One of the assignments of the course was to focus on one of three images that captures the imagination and write a poem based on your reaction.

The image I chose to focus on depicted a figure, who appeared to be made of stone, with a locked wooden door or gate on its chest. Behind the locked was a bright white light emitting in glowing rays through its cracks, and from the way the figure is posed in the image, it, to me, seemed as though this light suddenly appeared out of nowhere, as though something had awoken inside.

I couldn’t take my eyes of the damn thing, and it sparked something in me that I put together for the assignment. I wanted to share the resulting poem, The Pebble, as I think it’s a bit of an appropriate reflection of where I am on the journey with this blog, with the start of renewed writing, and what will be coming with more writing ahead.

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